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After a week, only now have I had the courage to face my emotions.

It’s funny, just when you thought everything’s okay, something happens, and it makes you question all that you know.

All it takes is a bit of alcohol and the hidden becomes instantly obvious.

The emotions that I have long-thought gotten rid of, was just buried deep in me.

The longing became evident, clear as the night sky then…

After all those times, I yearned still for that person.

But now, a week later, the turning point came.

And everything drastically changed.

The yearning became spite. The hope that I was once holding on to, became the very thing that poisoned me. The love that was so well-defended then, turned to the curse that I wanted to get rid of.

The curse. My curse that ate away all that I had; all-consuming and destructive.

My curse. My weakness.

With all the love that I could possibly give, quite the opposite was returned.

And with a broken heart, along with its bits and pieces, I walk away, determined with hope. Hope that I will not be looking back anymore. Hope, that this time, I could finally be able to walk away and leave everything behind.

Hope, that with all that I went through, I could now move forward, away from the past that has given me enough heartaches to last a lifetime.

Hope, that one day, everything will be as it was, as it should be.

(The Ungasis Diaries)

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